signs of unresolved trauma

3 Signs of Unresolved Trauma

“I spent thousands of dollars for the last few years on healing my trauma, no one could help me and I still feel this way”

Have You Heard This (Signs of Unresolved Trauma) Before?


Before I share anything else in that regard,  let me share an experience of mine that shaped my life.

I was born in India and lived in India for a while.

As long as I was in India and travelling for my work in India, people used to ask me about my state and I was identified by the state I was born in. So I believed  and owned this identity that I represent the state and family I am born into.

Let me tell you that this was not imposed on me by anyone, I took it on.

When I left India and was travelling overseas, people used to ask me about my country and I was identified by the country I was born in.

And now that identity extended to the country I was born in.

Later it extended to my profession, marital status, gender and now to being a human.

In many ways that sense of responsibility and the idea of representing something like a sportsperson (Trust me I cannot hit a ball), shaped me. Kept me away from racism, discrimination, and mediocrity and led me to leave the place a little better than it was, wherever I go.

“I like to be the change that I want to see in others”

I may not feel proud about all the good deeds but bad or hurtful deeds or mediocrity by any of those identities I represent/represented were definitely in my awareness and I tend to feel deeply.

Now how is this story connected to my first question?

This is exactly how I feel when any client I am meeting for the first time says that to me.

“I spent thousands of dollars for the last few years on healing my trauma, no one could help me and I still feel this way”

I represent that community too.

How can I tell them and rebuild their trust that healing is possible with The EMPR Method and they can live their life with inner peace and strength, after so many years of them trying so many modalities with so many different therapists, practitioners and healers?

Healing trauma is not so hard.

Helping a client to rehabilitate after healing the trauma is not so hard either.

Then why do you fail?

And why do you say your passion is to help others when you cannot commit to that personal discipline?

The answer is simple,,

You cannot see yourself yet so you cannot see it in others.

And that is your block to help others for the following three reasons or 3 signs of unresolved trauma:

1. Because you don’t understand how your mind, body & energy work and its intricacy.

2. You cannot distinguish the types of trauma and different ways it can affect an individual?

3. You lack discipline – Mental, Physical & Emotional.

Yes, you read the third one right.

It is the discipline that a wellness practitioner should commit, follow and practice to give that result to their clients and help them.

I teach, follow and ask of my EMPR students these three things:

1. Personal Integrity: Live your life as if you are in a glass house, DO NOT preach, teach, coach, heal or advise anything that you didn’t experience or practice

2. Consistent Conscious Choice: It is not easy to exercise this always (I can hear my students swearing at me as they go through tough times themselves) but start building this muscle and stay committed to it.

3. Continuous Self-Enquiry: Go within first and explore before going out to help others in a meaningful way. Do not be a rescuer.

And to conclude, healing and rehabilitation are easy if you learn and practice the above three.

Please do not complicate with your knowledge and build a lack of trust in individuals who want to help themselves and heal.

Something to think about and reflect.



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