I had an incredible and insightful week talking to some of the most sophisticated men who are my clients.
What was interesting is to identify how men and women interpret aggressive behaviour and how they abuse their natural strengths to express their frustrations and disappointments.
Here are the 4 different scenarios including 3 of my clients.
1. Let us call this client of mine Sam. He was a quiet kid whose memory of his loving mum is how loud she was to get things done and be heard.
Sam now fears loud women and avoids conflict in any shape or form.
2. Another client Brody remembers how his father was quiet, submissive to his mum and hard-working to provide for the family.
Brody decided never to listen to a woman because he believes a woman will take away a man’s freedom irrespective of how hard-working and caring he is.
3. Yet another client Bran decided to be a bikie and still loves to be a bikie to feel he belongs while he grew out of those values, just because he never felt he belonged to his mum & dad.
Bran is now in constant conflict deciding. between living a life acceptable to society or living a life of a bikie.
Three different men from three different backgrounds and still doing their best to be a good partner, good parent and a good human.
4. In another context, I was in a training this week with almost 47 people ( both men and women ) on the screen.
And the organisers were announcing the events.
One of the events was a meet-up exclusively for women.
I couldn’t stop asking if there was one just for men.
And even more surprising was the organisers’ response ( who were quite sophisticated men themselves)
“No, we don’t encourage toxic masculinity and patriarchy”
When did this happen
What is the role of a woman in all this?
While we are choosing to glorify the power of womanhood, are we ignoring the opposite end of the spectrum which can be toxic femininity and matriarchy?
Are we as women so weak and frail or are we passively aggressive?
If some men abuse their natural strength which is physical strength to express frustration and anger, are we women abusing our emotional strength?
What are we communicating as a society to our children and the next generation of boys and girls?
It’s important we empower girls and it’s equally important to empower boys to own themselves.
In the pursuit of gender equality, are we over-correcting and forgetting those gender roles are merely social constructs which have been changing with time?
I love to know your thoughts.