If you are a coach, healer, therapist, or someone deeply immersed in nervous system work, this might challenge you.
The wellness industry sold you nervous system regulation.
And don’t get me wrong – it’s powerful.
It helps when emotions feel overwhelming.
It brings you back to safety.
It prevents spirals.
It builds capacity.
But here’s the uncomfortable question:
If you find yourself regulating the same triggers over and over again…
is regulation actually healing you?
Or has it become a management strategy you now depend on?
Recently, I moved homes.
For decades, I cooked on a gas stove. Now I cook on an electric stove.
And I started burning food.
Now I have two choices.
Option one:
Buy better cleaning products. Organic ones. Stronger ones. More expensive ones. Eco-friendly ones. And clean the burnt pots every single time.
Option two:
Learn how electric heat works.
Adjust the temperature.
Understand timing.
Become more mindful while cooking.
Nervous system tools – breathwork, grounding, tapping, somatic exercises are like the cleaning liquid.
They help. They’re necessary at times.
But if the same pot keeps burning, at some point it’s not about the cleaning product.
It’s about how you’re cooking.
Regulation is essential when someone is chronically dysregulated or healing deep trauma. It creates baseline safety. Without that, growth is difficult.
But once there is stability, constant regulation without pattern change can quietly become:
– Avoidance
– Identity attachment (“I’m easily triggered”)
– Over-identification with trauma
– Self-acceptance without evolution
There is a difference between compassion and complacency.
Healthy self-awareness says:
“I burned the food. That’s okay. What can I learn?”
Unconscious self-acceptance says:
“That’s just how I am.”
Healing was never meant to become a dependency.
At some point, growth shifts from nervous system management to conscious self-leadership.
From calming reactions
to changing patterns.
From regulating emotions
to refining choices.
So here’s something to reflect on:
Are you constantly cleaning burnt pots?
Or are you learning the stove?
Regulate when needed.
Reflect when it repeats.
Refine your choices.
That’s evolution.
This is exactly what we work with inside EMPR, not regulation work, but resolving
hidden identity-based emotion memory patterns
that silently run your reactions, behaviours, and life outcomes.
Watch this space for more..
Love
Manna