I was 17 when I had my first near-death experience.
I was riding home on my motorbike when I suddenly lost control and was hurtled through the air and rolled along the road which left me unconscious, for how long I do not know.
The strange thing is, I remember as I was travelling through the air I clearly remember thinking that this was it, This is the way I’m going to die. And in that moment of accepting I was going to die, an enormous sense of peace engulfed my entire body.
Surprisingly in that moment of peace, I didn’t even know what was happening to my physical body. It just didn’t matter.
When I came around, I remember a sense of disappointment, a sense of losing something. and in the weeks and months that followed all I wanted to do was feel that enormous magnificent peace again.
As the years have passed, the pull of a return to that feeling still remains.
At the same time, it had a profound impact on my thoughts about death.
It also had some consequences too…
Nothing really motivated me after that.
I felt like what’s the point, once you experienced something like that. Nothing or no one can ever in this life can ever give you the same experience…
While everyone else including friends and family is busy with achievements, climbing the corporate ladders, expanding families and celebrations, I was secretly longing for that peace that I experienced while my body was dragged on the concrete road with cuts, scratches and bruises. The scars remain even today.
At the same time, it also taught me few things.
Lesson 1 : I was a teenager then and heavily into journalling. Once I came home after that accident, first thing I did was to shred my journal. Because I shared all my pain and hurt in it which I realised is so meaningless after that peace I just experienced from that accident.
Lesson 2: I was riding my brother’s precious motorbike and felt responsible that his bike was badly damaged, I then decided never to disrespect other’s belongings and possessions.
Lesson 3: I am not afraid of dying. So it is time to live peacefully, meaningfully and beautifully.
Nothing to lose really!!
Everything happens for a reason and there is always a choice to learn something from it, when we look back and connect the dots.
So do you have to be afraid of living or dying or living with constant worry and anxiety?
Love
Manna