Anticipating a relationship breakdown or losing a lifetime partner can be very traumatic and the loneliness that one experiences lead to depression.
One can experience loneliness during the period- weeks, months or years leading to the event itself and not just after losing a relationship or losing someone physically.
Often, the event itself either separation or loss happens after an individual spent considerable time undergoing the turmoil.
This explains why holding grief longer than usual is a symptom of trauma because your body and energy field stores the memories.
You hold on to grief for more extended period because it stems from past traumatic triggers and trauma-assumed identities that built and shaped your life.
It is only but natural to strive to avoid everything that hurt us in the past or hurt someone we loved. But that creates fragmented identities.
Here are the two case studies to help you understand:
1. Cassie avoids any form of debt because she witnessed as a child how her father was disrespected for taking loans and never repaying them.
2. Ben witnessed how his mother was emotionally controlling his father and he decided never to be emotional.
How is that now affecting Cassie and Ben?
Cassie is continuously triggered and panics anticipating a relationship breakdown because she does not know how she can be financially independent after the separation.
Ben is unable to allow himself to be emotional and grieves for the loss of his wife.
Those decisions that shaped them into awesome individuals also created the polarity of being disconnected, extremely logical and very materialistic to avoid hurt and shame.
Can you see how these fragmented identities tear you apart, leading Ben and Cassie into depression?
So what should you do?
Find help to resolve your identity conflicts and internal conflicts. They are much deeper than you can ever imagine.
If you created who you are today, you are capable of destroying those fragmented identities and creating a new one, exactly the way you want today.
Is it possible?
Then why do therapists and practitioners fail to help you?
In next week’s Let’s talk trauma, I will share with you why therapists and coaches are failing to help with depression.
Love & Healing