Hi there! How was your last week? And did you get a chance to ask yourself who do you want to be? What is stopping you to be who you want to be? Busyness, giving too much, giving too little or control ? They all stem from the same underlying unresolved need. Last week’s goal post, we were discussing the culture of busyness. Thought of sharing this conversation with one of my clients, that I thought very relevant.
Giver : I am always busy, giving and cannot stop
Coach : Why do you give always?
Giver : Because giving is sharing. Universe will give me when I give, not necessarily the same person. Coach :Then why do you complain?
Giver : I am not my priority any more and others don’t seem to share with me as much as I do.
Coach : So what is your expectation?
Giver : Nothing. Just want them to share with me too.
Coach: What do you feel when they don’t share with you?
Giver: I am not loved and wanted
Coach :So, does sharing means loving and belonging to you?
Giver : Yes Perhaps, busyness is an act of giving with the underlying fear that when you stop being busy, you go unnoticed and may not get that love and attention that you believed you were EARNING all these years. What if you can tell yourself NOW that you don’t have to EARN love and sense of belonging.That may be a childhood story and is no longer relevant. Giving in itself is a noble act as long as there are no subtle expectations. However, when the giving is an expectation to get , as big or small, as objective or subjective it can be, then that giving is not a giving at all. A giver can only ask “why I do continue to give” only when they decide to pause that giving. Here is the challenge for you this week?Can you pause your giving and ask “ Why do I give?”
PS :Love is unconditional and you are always more than enough