Amor Fati 

Do you know what it means?

I came across this last year with my coaching client Jane, who sadly only had a few weeks left to live.

At first I was anxious. I’m not a priest that can ease her passing, or assure her of a better time to come in the after life. Why had she come to life coach when she herself had so little life left?

Intrigued, I asked.

Jane’s answer, “to accept who I am and not what everyone expected me to be, and to let go of the anger of not allowing myself to be truly me”.

It suddenly hit me, most people go through their entire life AND death without ever living, without ever letting their inner light shine, not even for a single day.

Living by the expectations of others will NEVER bring you peace, contentment or happiness. It may bring you short term acceptance of others, but not long term acceptance of yourself.

Whilst speaking to Jane, it struck me, does it need to?

Love and detachment are two extreme polarities and both can lead us to where we want to be. 

Why are we so attached to the so-called label of spirituality, equanimity and detachment?

Instead, can you love your life so much that good and bad, suffering and joy – they are part of your life.

Love your LIFE not people, unconditionally!

Friedrich Nietzsche termed the phrase ‘AMOR FATI’, which means love of fate.

“Amor fati – is used to describe an attitude in which one sees everything that happens in one’s life, including suffering and loss, as good or, at the very least, necessary”.

You don’t have to be religious or spiritual to embrace life fully.

Just be human.

Take a deep breath and reflect on, what am I choosing to be because of what I think others want me to be, instead of what I want to be?

Here’s 5 ways to live Amor Fati.

  1. Live a live free of shame.
    We are taught what is shameful, which means we can also learn to be free from shame.
  1. Accept your shadows.
    As mentioned last week, our greatest strengths (attributes) are also our greatest weaknesses (shadows). You don’t have to get rid of them, just learn to not let them be running in you, unchecked.
  1. Feel your emotions.
    Feel them, accept them & thank them. Live your emotions but don’t live there.
  1. S**t happens.
    Everything happens for a reason. Ask why it has happened and what it has taught you.
  1. Understand Amor Fati is a magical state.
    Carl Jung said that “individuation is where you become totally aware of your inner self”.  If you are fully aware, no pain or adversity can really harm you.

Once you embrace these 5 fundamentals, you understand that YOU are your own Guru.

You can live a life of greatness, a life embracing Amor Fati – just as Nietzsche did.

Living a true life isn’t by running away, FACE IT.

“My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it—all idealism is mendacity in the face of what is necessary—but love it” – Friedrich Nietzsche

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